no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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