well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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