is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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