also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
