So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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