where am i from again
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
