god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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