you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
