I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
