he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
