Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
