Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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