Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
