Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just gift wrapped bread.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
