i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
What a dumb baby whore.
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At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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