We won't sleep together?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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