I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize