are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
