Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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