How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize