Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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