my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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