she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize