She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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