he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
