I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
