Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
