Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
