Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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