i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
