It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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