id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
