I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
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