RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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