why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
