And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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