I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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