I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
