This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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