I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
