I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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