I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
