the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
