I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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