Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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