Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
FUCK WHALES
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
