jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
