I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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