So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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