Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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