i think my tv is drunk
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
