I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
