yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
this hospital has no fireball
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
