I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
