Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm having to shit out rocks
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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