Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
