just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
