I need help removing her.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
