I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
