i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
