If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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