So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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