Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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