These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
