You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
